Launching Your Daughter

Launching Your Daughter podcast was created to support parents and caregivers in empowering their tween and teen girls as they prepare for young adulthood. Guests will be interviewed to discuss topics such as anxiety, perfectionism, depression, trauma, relationship struggles, budgeting time and money, nutrition and self-care. Conversations about mindfulness, self compassion, mind, body and spirit connections, holistic and alternative approaches used in psychotherapy and counseling will also be explored. As the host of Launching Your Daughter, my name is Nicole Burgess and I’m a licensed marriage and family therapist, transpersonal psychotherapist, parent educator and adolescent mentor. For more information go to the website at
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Now displaying: 2016
Dec 27, 2016

Today’s episode is for parents and the role they have been doing over the last year. Parenting is a full time job with both its challenges and rewards. At the time of this recording it is December and we await for the new year to begin. I am inviting all parents to set aside some time and reflect on your role as a parent. Most parents I work with struggle to see what they are doing well or celebrate how they have broken negative family patterns, such as abuse. So today I am asking you to get out some paper and a pen, set some time for you to reflect either by yourself and/or with your partner, and explore what went well for the year. What areas you may want to adjust/change for next year and what you are grateful for. Once you have done this you may want to encourage your daughters to do the same. Many tween and teen girls struggle with seeing their strengths, obstacles they have overcome and courage that is within them. You never know this may become a family tradition at the end of the year.

In this episode you will learn:

  • Why reflecting is important
  • Celebrating your successes and lessons learned
  • What your daughter has taught you over the year

To see the full show notes visit

I invite you to sign up for my newsletter because I have some upcoming announcements for teen girls and for mothers.

Dec 20, 2016

My guest today is Natalie DeFay-Foster, a licensed associate marriage and family therapist at Integrative Art Therapy in Phoenix, Arizona. Natalie is a trained Clinical Art Therapist and specializes in working with adolescents, adults and families. I am excited to speak with her today in how art therapy can be beneficial in working with teen girls and their parents. In this episode you will learn: You don’t need any previous art experience to participate Art therapy can deepen and change family relationships Art therapy can improve communication and relationship skills between parents and teens

For full show notes go to and to sign up for my newsletter on some upcoming announcements I will be making for both teen girls and their moms.

Dec 13, 2016

Today’s episode is all about boundaries. What are boundaries or limit setting, tips for setting boundaries and why they are important for teen girls and parents. Each week I discuss boundaries with my adult and teen girl clients. There are many myths about what a boundary is and misunderstandings on how to set them.

In this episode you will learn:

  • What is a boundary
  • Tips to set boundaries
  • Healthy vs unhealthy boundaries

To see the full show notes visit

I invite you to sign up for my newsletter because I have some upcoming announcements for teen girls and for mothers.

Dec 6, 2016

My guest today is Dr. Lisa Damour, a psychologist and director of the internationally renowned Laurel School’s Center for Research on Girls. Lisa pulls back the curtain on the teenage years and shows why your daughter’s erratic and confusing behavior is actually healthy, necessary, and natural. Her book Untangled Guiding Teen Girls through the Seven Transitions into Adulthood, an instant New York Times best seller, explains what’s going on, prepares parents for what’s to come, and lets them know when it’s time to worry. I am excited to speak with Lisa today about her book and dive a little deeper in one of the chapters. In this episode you will learn: Why Lisa wrote the book Helping parents and teen girls prepare for the future Teenage development is not a personal affront to parents Preparing for the future Requirements and concerns have changed over last ten years These changes are not in alignment with normal development Creating stress for parents and teen girls Can create parents to be too involved Many colleges to choose from, so not a crisis unless parents want teen to attend their school or believe only a few good colleges Power Struggle with homework Allowing teen daughter to receive consequences for her choices in completing assignments or preparing for school tests May need to rule out learning disorder or attention issues Parents have choice of negative outcome or positive outcome depending on what they say or do Lisa shares with parents in giving themselves permission to make these “mistakes” when daughter is in middle school vs waiting until high school Allow your daughter to feel disappointment Teens can struggle with perspective and here is where parents can support her as she moves through this temporary feeling/moment in her life Normal development for your daughter to place autonomy over majority of issues Leverage becomes about removing freedoms/privileges Using her desire for autonomy to help leverage because you can’t “make her” do anything Tips from Lisa Not taking your daughter’s journey into teenage land as personal “Can feel like a breakup” because when she was younger she would laugh at your jokes then around 12 or 13 she no longer thinks your funny Normal development can be challenging and hard If she could rename the book she call it “It’s not about you” because teenage development can seem like a personal affront to parents and its not Parents give yourselves permission to grieve the loss of this change in your relationship with your teen daughter because it is a loss Seek support from friends and colleagues during this stage of life I have some upcoming announcements I will be making for both teen girls and their moms, so go to to sign up for the newsletter. This podcast is also available on Stitcher, Google Play, YouTube and now iHeartRadio. Lisa’s Information: Website: Book: Untangled Guiding Teen Girls through the Seven Transitions into Adulthood

Nov 29, 2016

Today’s guest is Jonathan Singer who is an associate professor of social work at Loyola University Chicago's school of social work and the founder and host of the Social Work Podcast. He is the author of dozens of publications, including the 2015 book "Suicide in Schools: A Practitioner's Guide to Multi-level Prevention, Assessment, Intervention, and Postvention." Jonathan has been a practicing social worker for 20 years and has spent much of that time working with suicidal youth and their families. He's a Hoosier by birth and graduate of Earlham College in Richmond, IN. He lives in Evanston, IL with his wife and three kids. In this episode you will learn: Examples of how parents can communicate with their teenager about concerns of suicide Breaking a myth around suicide Resources available for parents, teens and mental health professionals Jonathan’s experience with working with suicidal folks He is a teacher and researcher Working with folks who are suicidal for years Uses family system perspective LGBT teens can be higher risk if there is no family support Trained in attachment based family therapy He described rupture/break between child and parents Uses a structured approach Explore both sides of where break happens Kids doesn't have to come to parent for everything except when kid is talking about suicide Statistics Stats are from looking at all Americans 43,000 suicides in 2014 Hard to compare state to state-can look at American Association of Suicidology which share data once a year 65 and older-rate is 16.6 per 100,00 or 21 suicides per day 45 to 64-rate is 19.5 per 100,000 or 45 suicides per day young is 15 to 24 yrs old-rate is 11.6 per 100,000 or 14 per day Thoughts of suicide are not normative Stats show 12% of kids up to age 18 yrs old have had thoughts of suicide Yet “normal enough” need to acknowledge kids talk about suicide Breaking a myth Breaking the myth that speaking about suicide will make person suicidal It is ok to bring up the topic with your child and explore if they have had friends talk about suicide Jonathan gives examples of what parents can say to their teen Role modeling shows you are not afraid to speak about suicide Want to connect with other parents vs manage by yourself Search Institute-40 Developmental Assets-shares positive indicators is parents in a community with other parents having shared parenting values Can seek support from other parents/friends on Facebook and know Facebook algorithms may not rank post high Jonathan discussed DOCZ app-which has peer support and health professionals available for parents needing support Find out your teen’s school policies regarding suicide and mental health management Does school have signs of strength (SOS) club? Do they do universal screening and if they have a concern what do they do? Jonathan discussed his book for mental health professionals The forms are useable and copyright goes with owner of book Can input data into forms Resources DOCZ app prevention in social media Search Institute I invite you to subscribe to my newsletter because I have some upcoming announcements for teen girls and their moms. This podcast is also available on Stitcher, Google Play, YouTube and now iHeartRadio. Website is Jonathan’s Information: Website: Twitter: @socworkpodcast Facebook: Email: Book: Suicide in Schools: A Practitioner's Guide to Multi-level Prevention, Assessment, Intervention, and Postvention

Nov 22, 2016

Today’s guest is Jessica Paist who has her degree in marriage and family therapy and is located in Jenkintown, PA. Jessica is a teen therapist who specializes in empowering tween and teen girls. She uses a family systems approach, which means she supports the parents along with their daughters.

In this episode you will learn:

  • How group therapy can empower adolescent girls quicker than individual therapy
  • Girls gain awareness they are not alone
  • Girls can support one another

To find out more check out the show notes at

Nov 15, 2016

Today’s guest is Lynn Dutrow who is a licensed clinical professional counselor and courage coach in Frederick, Maryland. She has over 25 years of experience in the psychology and education fields and now offers coaching to teens and adults who struggle with anxiety.

In this episode you will learn:

  • Difference of coaching vs counseling
  • How coaching can be effective with managing anxiety
  • Benefits of parents doing coaching

How coaching is different than counseling

  • She explains how coaching can begin before parent or teen is diagnosed with a mental health diagnosis, such as generalized anxiety disorder
  • Coaching focuses on the present vs reflecting on the past
  • Lynn shares how Auntie Anxiety came about for coaching business
  • This “character” can help bring in humor to the hard work and get teens and parents to get outside themselves for a moment

How coaching can help manage anxiety

  • Education about the parts of the brain that activate anxiety and fear
  • Amygdala works like a smoke detector and its has an important job, but for some of us our smoke detector works like it will go off if steam is coming out of the shower
  • Help people recognize they won’t get rid of anxiety and not the goal Turn it from enemy to ally
  • Work for you vs against you
  • Begin process of taking action to make change
  • Begin to get comfortable in the uncomfortable and lean into the fears
  • Gain understanding of reacting to vs responding to
  • We all have anxiety

Coaching parents

  • Helping parents recognize their own anxiety
  • Understanding the idea that society has sold us that we can all be happy if we just buy this product.
  • Reality is learning how to be uncomfortable, don’t have to like it, but embrace it because it is important part of teens process and life
  • Many well intentioned mother’s who are in the role of taking care of everything who try to “speed up the process” have created more stress for themselves and teens are less confident because someone else has been doing the skill/task they need to know how to do
  • Let your daughter be part of the family-let her get engaged in doing these tasks to help the whole family

What can stop parents in beginning coaching

  • Fear of being uncomfortable
  • Doing the work to begin to manage the worries
  • Having initial session with coach can help challenge the old beliefs and gain understanding of embracing the uncomfortable

Benefits of Coaching:

  • Educating parents and teenage girls about anxiety
  • Anxiety is like a socially awkward friend who wants you to pay attention to it
  • Anxiety makes our world really small
  • How to manage it-expand your world, gain more confidence
  • How to change it from being an enemy to being an ally
  • Courage is showing up everyday
  • Look for opportunities and keep moving forward

Book Recommendations:

Anxious Kids,Anxious Parents: 7 Ways to Stop the Worry Cycle and Raise Courageous and Independent Children by Reid Wilson and Lynn Lyons I invite you to sign up for my newsletter.

I have some upcoming announcements I will be making, so go to This podcast is also available on Stitcher, Google Play, YouTube and now iHeartRadio.

Lynn’s Information:


Nov 8, 2016

Today’s guest is Amy Morin who is a licensed clinical social worker, psychotherapist, and a lecturer at Northeastern University. She is also a keynote speaker, parent teen expert and child discipline expert for and best selling author of 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do. I watched Amy’s TED talk, The Secret of Becoming Mentally Strong, recently and I am excited to speak with her today about how parents and teens can build resilience.

In this episode you will learn:

  • Building your mental strength
  • What locus of control means
  • Role modeling your mental strength to your teen Taking calculated risks

Why Amy wrote a book

  • Amy shares her personal story of the loss of her mother and husband and how it impacted her journey in becoming more mentally strong during tough times
    • She began to write articles after the death of her husband
    • She wrote a letter to herself about “13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do”, posted it on line “and it went viral”
    • Amy does speaking events in helping others “give up bad habits that keep them stuck.”
  • “As therapists we focus on good habits and strengths, but also need to explore what keeps us held back.”
  • The chapters give examples and at the end of each chapter there is “what’s helpful” and “what’s not helpful”.
  • Chapter one “They don’t waste time feeling sorry for themselves” People get stuck on problems vs solutions
    • Need to look forward or how can I make my life better Amy shares how she had to figure out how to manage “the tough days” after her loses
    • Finding ways to be grateful for what you have vs what you lost Not dwelling on past, learn from it and move forward
    • Recognizing that you can control your mood
    • Allow yourself to feel emotions vs choice of staying stuck in it or leaning into it and move forward
  • Chapter four is about locus of control (external vs internal and bilateral)
    • External locus of control-think outside forces dictate our lives
    • Internal locus of control-I have power over the things that happen to me
    • Bilateral-little of both You accept you can control your behaviors and other areas of your life you don’t have control over, such as other people’s behaviors.
  • Raising mentally strong kids is being a good role model
  • As you embrace these mentally strong concepts it helps your teenager
  • Teaching your teen how to deal and cope with difficult emotions

Tip for Parents

  • Being mindful of language you use because it can imply you are a victim For example “I have to” vs “This is a choice”
  • Chapter six is about taking calculated risks
    • Decisions usually based on emotions vs exploring logic and seeing pros/cons of taking risk
    • Parents can help teens understand how their brains are changing and looking at risks/consequences vs reacting impulsively
    • Begin to face fears and tolerate anxiety, you can gain confidence
    • Parents you can reflect why your teen daughter’s friends maybe doing X behavior (i.e. feels good, is exciting) and why we need to look at both sides of good and bad of choice

As you practice these concepts, it can help not only you build resilience when tough times happen, but also help your teen daughter gain this skill.

I invite you to sign up for my newsletter. I have some upcoming announcements I will be making, so go to This podcast is also available on Stitcher, Google Play, YouTube and now iHeartRadio.

Amy’s Information:


Her eCourse:

Her book:

Nov 1, 2016

At the time of this recording fall is here, which means here in the U.S. that holidays are approaching. For many people the holidays are filled with happiness and family gatherings. For some people the holidays may be filled with sadness and loss. If you have lost a parent, partner, family member, friend or a family pet, I will discuss some ways to cope with the loss.

In this episode you will learn:

  • It is healthy to share your feelings and honor the loss
  • Adults and children share and express grief differently
  • Self-care and self-compassion are important during this time of season

Ways to Cope

  • Talk to someone about what you are feeling or experiencing.
    • Some people are too uncomfortable with grief, so find someone who can listen to you.
    • If this is the first holiday without that person you may feel sad or lonely and sharing this with a trusted friend or loved one can help ease the pain.
    • Talk about what you miss about the person or what ritual you used to do together around this time.
  • Create a ritual to acknowledge the person
    • Light a candle
    • Have a photo out during the celebrations
  • Set aside some quiet time to reflect on that person.
    • Journal, cry, spend time looking at photos or watching home movie to allow yourself to feel the sadness and move through it.
    • After your quiet time is done, go do another activity.
    • Setting aside a specific amount of time can give you permission to feel the sadness, to continue to go in and out of the pain, without feeling overwhelmed.
    • Doing another activity after that can help you believe you are more in control of your emotions vs. the emotions overwhelming you.
  • Remind yourself that family gatherings are not about perfection, but are about spending time with each other.
  • It is ok to cancel the family gathering this year too. Be gentle with yourself.
  • Adults experience grief and loss differently than children.
  • Children are more in the present moment and my say ‘I miss Grandma”, then go off and play with other kids. It is normal and natural.

Seek professional help

  • With time the symptoms of grief should decrease.
  • If your feelings intensify, you are withdrawing from others, struggling with depression and it has been several months since the death, it maybe time to seek professional help.

Planning and preparing yourself

  • What are you going to do to give yourself permission to have compassion for yourself and/or your children?
  • Think of some ways now that can help you feel more prepared for the holidays.

“There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are the messengers of overwhelming grief, of deep contrition, and of unspeakable love.” by Washington Irving

Book recommendations:

On Death and Dying by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

On Grief and Grieving: Finding the Meaning of Grief Through the Five Stages of Loss by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross and David Kessler

The Wheel of Life by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross and Todd Gold

Contact Nicole if you are in Indiana or the Indianapolis area and seeking professional help.

Oct 25, 2016

Today’s guest is Jennifer McGurk a registered dietitian nutritionist and certified eating disorder registered dietitian. Her practice is located in Nyack, NY. Jennifer believes that every client has different nutrition needs and what’s right for one person may not be right for another. She believes in intuitive and mindful eating, and structures her sessions based on lifestyle changes, behavior modifications with food, and creative and realistic meal planning strategies. 

In this episode you will learn:

  • Jennifer works with adults and teens who have an unhealthy relationship with food or they want to change the relationship they have with food
  • Nutritional food is for fueling the body and decreasing the cravings
  • Gaining awareness of behavioral patterns or thoughts around food

For therapist and dietitians

  • Need to begin to change what we consider normal in the media and change the language
  • Discuss and recognize the negative “fat” talk-example “my cheeks are fat” or “I’m not beautiful”
  • Begin to neutralize it with healthier thoughts, such as “those are my cheeks”
  • Explore “What do I get out of that negative self-talk?”
  • Negative self-talk can decrease confidence and self-esteem
  • The number of sessions depends on what clients need or want from treatment and their level of commitment
  • Dietitian helps with:
  • Creating a food plan with the client Uses science and give specific recommendations of healthy diet
  • Review behavior changes and the “why’s” behind behavior and food decisions
  • Diet equals nourishment and life style change
  • Research shows that those who skip breakfast eat more later in day
  • Body slows downs, using brain energy at school and all this can create binging on foods after school/work
  • Pack an apple and peanut butter, a smoothy or half a sandwich to eat for breakfast

For parents

  • Talk about concerns or eating issues with your teenage daughter
  • You may think “it will make it worse”, but if you have open conversations it can help
  • Jennifer recommends F.E.A.S.T or
  • Schedule an appointment just for yourself to begin the process and explore ways in communicating concerns about your teen
  • Some prevention tips
    • Not talking about food as good or bad
    • Judging your own weight and making comments about it in front of your daughter
    • Don’t force your child to eat everything on their plate
  • Today’s world we are emotional eaters, we use food as comfort
  • Begin to use Hunger Scale
    • Rate your hunger from 1 to 10
    • One being extremely hungry
    • Five being neutral
    • Ten being you are Thanksgiving sick
  • Can use app called “Rise Up” which is geared toward eating disorders, but can rate your hunger

Book Recommendations

Healthy at Every Size by Linda Bacon ( Body Kindness book by Rebecca Scritchfield Rebecca’s podcast Intuitive Eating by Evelyn Tribole and Elyse Resch

If you liked this episode I invite you to subscribe on iTunes to receive the weekly updates. This podcast is also available on Stitcher, Google Play, YouTube and now iHeartRadio. Website is

Jennifer’s Information:


For therapist: for book

Oct 18, 2016

Today’s guest is Dr. Melvin Varghese a psychologist in Philadelphia, PA and host of the popular podcast Selling the Couch. He is a colleague and my mentor in this podcasting journey. We discuss what perfectionism looks like from a male perspective, how it impacted Melvin growing up and how he manages it as an adult. One goal of this episode is to continue to raise awareness how perfectionism not only affects women, but men too and ways to challenge old thoughts/stories we tell ourselves. Now here is todays episode.

In this episode you will learn:

  • How Melvin recognized perfectionism beginning as teenager and ways it manifested
  • How he manages those behaviors and thoughts now
  • Continuing to challenge societal beliefs about what it means to be a man

Embracing imperfection

  • Men sometimes wear perfectionism as a badge of honor
  • Society seems to have a double standard for men
  • “When I hold this truth and embrace these imperfections is when others can see our humanity.”
  • Give ourselves permission to feel both negative emotions and positive emotions
  • Step into our growth edge
  • Melvin shares how as a teenager perfectionism manifested in behaviors
  • His family moved to U.S. when he was in second grade
  • Wanted to do well academically for my parents and brother
  • He identified his self-worth with his grades
  • Began to manifest in some obsessive/compulsive behaviors, such as, how items on his desk were arranged
  • Our minds can go to one extreme or other i.e. “I won’t live up to my potential” More pressure on teens today
  • Can impact their views of self-worth Reminding them they are okay and failures are learning opportunities
  • As an adult When he first created his business old perfectionism thoughts returned and he recognized fear of not being liked
  • He combated perfectionism with:
    • Setting time limits for activities
    • Reminded himself-not about being perfect but about embracing imperfection
    • Using “both”/“and” vs “either”/“or”
    • Gaining self-awareness regarding old thoughts and beliefs
    • “I can put information out there and may not resonate with everyone and that is ok plus I can continue to tweak/modify as I go.”
    • Wants the world to see him as who he is

Self-Care skills:

  • Has consistent morning routine
  • Does 30 minutes of exercise
  • Listens to TED talk Has meditation routine
  • Plans day with 1 to 3 tasks
  • Breaks day into 30 minute chucks
  • Gets 8 hours of sleep each night


Sue Johnson-Hold Me Tight

Brene Brown-The Gift of Imperfection

Tal Ben-Shahar, Ph.D.-The Pursuit of Perfect: How to Stop Chasing Perfection and Start Living a Richer, Happier Life

If you liked this episode I invite you to subscribe on iTunes to receive the weekly updates. This podcast is also available on Stitcher, Google Play, YouTube and now iHeartRadio. Website is

Melvin’s Information:


Coming soon for entrepreneur:

Oct 11, 2016

Todays guest is Laura Reagan LCSW-C. She is a Certified Daring WayTM facilitator, in private practice located in Severna Park, Maryland and has a podcast called Therapy Chat. She specializes in working with adults who have experienced some childhood relational trauma, such as emotional or physical neglect, physical, sexual or emotional abuse, or have witnessed domestic violence. On todays episode Laura shares what parents and teen girls can do if they believe they have been sexually abused.

In this episode you will learn:

  • Laura defines sexual assault as: “any unwanted sexual touching (touching rear end, touching sexual body parts) to rape…child sexual abuse, sexual assault where no intercourse to rape.”
  • Sexual abuse and assault is considered a trauma
  • Statistics: 1 out of every 4 girls and 1 out of 6 boys under age 18 yrs have had some type of unwanted sexual experience
  • Often the person who has been sexually assaulted will not know they have been an answer the question as “no” when asked.
  • But when ask more specific questions about unwanted sexual experiences they will disclose experiences
  • Part of this is raising awareness of what sexual assault means
  • If you are intoxicated you can’t give consent
  • Maybe a sign you have been sexually assaulted if:
  • You wake up and I feel like I have had sex but not in relationship,
  • Wasn’t plan on having sex or
  • Wasn’t interested in anyone this Y
  • ou can go to college counseling office and speak to a professional
  • If not sure what you want to do call 24 hour R.A.I.N.N. hotline at 1-800-656-4673

What can parent do:

  • If you child, teen, or adult child discloses they have been sexually assault Focus on how they feel
  • And try not to be overwhelmed with your own feelings of what you hear
  • They are asking you for help and for your support
  • Suspend disbelief
  • Call the hotline number because you may not know what to do and they can help

What not to do:

  • Let them think you don’t believe them
  • That you don’t support them
  • Because that is harmful to your child/teen
  • It can be detrimental to recovery
  • Why do some people develop post-traumatic symptoms?
  • Studies show is depends on how well that person is supported when they tell someone
  • Next step is helping person regain a sense of power and control again by giving them choices
    • Let her decide whether she wants to call the police
    • Unless it is child abuse then you need to report immediately, but help victim feel like they have options
  • Do they need medical attention?
    • Does a forensic exam need to be completed? If child under 13 years old-need hospital pediatric forensic nurse examiner
  • Again call R.A.I.N.N. hotline and they can give you where to go
  • You can have an advocate through your local sexual assault crisis center to be there during every step of the process
  • Have to ask for an advocate
  • Advocates are specially trained, they know your rights and can help explain your choices
  • Advocate is an outside objective person
  • Can have them there at court if you do not want your parents or loved ones in the room
  • Parents can have advocate as well
  • Exams are free and advocates are free
  • Sexual assault affects everyone and offenders can be either gender


Allies in Healing-book for how to support an adult who was abused as a child

Local Sexual Assault Association For Indiana

State wide local coalition One Billion Rising Revolution

1 in 6 organization-male survivors of sexual assault RAINN

If you liked this episode I invite you to subscribe on iTunes to receive the weekly updates. This podcast is also available on Stitcher, Google Play, YouTube and now iHeartRadio. Website is

Laura’s Information:


Podcast: Therapy Chat (iTunes, Stitcher, YouTube and iHeartRadio)

Oct 4, 2016

Today’s episode is about communicating more effectively with your teenage daughter through reflective listening and assertive communication. You are role modeling problem solving skills to her using these skills. Now here is todays episode.

In this episode you will learn: Brain develops from back to front Teens don’t have full frontal lobe until they are 24 to 26 years old Frontal lobe impacts executive functioning and impulse control


Reflective listening or Active listening

  • Improve problem solving skills for your teen daughter
  • Parents ask yourself if this is your problem or hers.
    • Does this problem interfere with my rights or responsibilities?
    • Does it involve the safety of my teen or others?
    • If no then her problem
  • You will reflect the emotions back or guess what she maybe feeling if she hasn’t stated an emotion
  • Don’t force her to talk about what is going on if she doesn’t want to and let her know you are there for her
  • Reflect both the positive and the negative times with her

Communication Styles:

  • Passive communication-eyes down, withholding talking to other person for days or giving them a silent treatment.
    • Considered emotional abuse if you are not stating you need to take a conflict time-out or keep communication lines open
  • Aggressive communication-name calling, yelling, using physical intimidation is also considered emotional or verbal abuse
  • Assertive communication or using “I” statements is the healthy way to communication
    • Example: When _______________ (name the behavior), I feel ______________(state your emotion) because _________________. When we have plans to spend time together and you change your mind, I feel disappointed because I’ve been looking forward to being you.
  • Using “I” statements shows we are responsible for our own emotions and not blaming or criticizing.
  • Non-verbal communication needs to be open body language, eye contact and facing person
  • If the issue is hers and she wants feedback to possible solutions Use open questions that start with when, what, who, which, where or how
  • Gain understanding and clarify the problem Use brainstorming to find solutions
  • Evaluate the ideas from brainstorming
  • She needs to pick a solution
  • Get a commitment and set a time for evaluating the solution
  • If the issue is yours-you can use the above steps

Book Recommendations:

Nonviolent Communication-A Language of Life by Marshall B. Rosenberg, Ph.D. Parenting from the Inside Out by Dr. Daniel Siegel & Mary Hartzell, M. Ed.

If you liked this episode I invite you to subscribe on iTunes to receive the weekly updates. This podcast is also available on Stitcher, Google Play, YouTube and now iHeartRadio.

Website is

Facebook page:

Sep 27, 2016

Today’s guest is Jill Castle, registered dietitian nutritionist, author, podcaster, speaker and mother of four teenagers. Jill works with families with babies up to young adults. She encourages parents to support and guide their teenagers in learning the life skill of cooking. Teen girls need this life skill to understand how nutrition impacts their learning, memory and moods and also gain confidence in sustaining themselves once they move out of the family home. Now here is todays episode.

In this episode you will learn:

  • A statistic states only 26% of today’s parents know how to cook
  • Let teens experiment in the kitchen
    • they will burn food
    • they will create weird combinations
    • they will learn
    • and gain confidence
  • Typically begin this skill by cooking or baking sweets
  • Natural progression in learning skill
    • Baking-is a science and you follow recipes
    • Cooking-more flexible and more room for mistakes
    • Assembly of food-create salads, make own dressings, put together sandwiches
  • Parents need to be supportive and there for their teenager daughter if they need guidance
  • Keep communication open
  • Maybe on weekends let teen be part of meal planning or preparing
  • Girls may become concerned about gaining weight during this phase of life
  • There is a healthy balance for each person and it is different for each person
  • Need five cups of fruits/vegetables daily Structure eating vs skipping meals
  • When teens skip meals they get hungrier later in day and can overeat
  • Can reduce learning and retention when hungry
  • Review where alcohol and sweets fit into diet, i.e. alcohol is a calorie source and diminishes the barrier to excess eating when under the influence

What you can do

  • Simple food plans are okay
  • Brainstorm families favorite meals
  • Create meal calendar
  • Have fun with cooking


Meal make over mom’s-

Their podcast is called Cooking with the Moms

Watch cooking shows or look at cookbooks for inspiration and ideas

If you liked this episode I invite you to subscribe on iTunes to receive the weekly updates. This podcast is also available on Stitcher, Google Play, YouTube and now iHeartRadio. Website is

Jill’s Information:


Podcast: The Nourished Child

Sep 20, 2016

Today’s guest is Maya Benattar, licensed creative art therapist and board certified music therapist in New York city and Manhattan, NY. Maya talks about her work with women and how singing, music and mindfulness can calm worries and fears. We know music is important to most teenagers and can be a great way for parents to connect with them. Music can help us transcend from the stuckness to a place of feeling seen and connected.

In this episode you will learn:

  • Maya works primarily with women who struggle with anxiety “
  • Triumph over anxiety to understand it and move through it.”
  • Getting women out of their heads and “noticing” where their anxiety is and interrupting that cycle
  • Disconnect between mind and body and relearning that connection through sound, sitting in uncomfortable for little bit and through creative ways

Techniques Used:

  • Vocal psychotherapy-using voice, singing exercises
  • Do not need to be a singer or have vocal training
  • Use mindfulness around music that is meaningful to them Where do you feel it
  • Connect to memories or associations Don’t necessarily need relaxing or soothing music to reduce anxiety
  • “Leaning into the music that works for you.”
  • Shares personal story of how music helped calm her
  • Changing societal views regarding what types of music can sooth and relax

In Between Sessions

  • If tapped into joyful/playful place-how can you access this before next session Brainstorm how person can continue this
  • Uses index cards to record goals, words or phrases that was meaningful during session
  • Helps with maintaining calm connected place between mind and body


  • Women more interested in creative approach
  • Fear around being musical or old wounds regarding failed piano lessons or can’t sing More about how it feels vs sounds
  • Safe environment and with person who is grounded and calm
  • Usually music already resonates with client


  • Parents pause and listen to a sound track with your teenager can give you insight into them Listening to music can increase relationship connection
  • Be present with your teen (not on phone or other devices)-helps validate who they are
  • Gain greater range of self-expression
  • Sit with and be with uncomfortable feeling-shares Brene Brown’s work of working with both joy and uncomfortable
  • Give yourself permission to feel what you feel where you are and move through it vs avoid it.
  • Nicole said, “Giving ourselves some grace to feel all the different emotions and move through it.”
  • Use of metaphors-being curious about anxiety
  • Exploring your story so the old story doesn’t have power over us.

If you liked this episode I invite you to subscribe on iTunes to receive the weekly updates. This podcast is also available on Stitcher, Google Play, YouTube and now iHeartRadio.

Maya’s Information:


Free guided relaxation audio track:



Book Recommendations: Brene Brown-Gift of Imperfection, Daring Greatly, Rising Strong

InSight Timer App-has meditations

Create a playlist of music for sleeping, work, when anxious or sad

Sep 13, 2016

Today’s guest is Amy Pender owner of SRI Investing. Amy’s passion for breaking down economic barriers for women and girls shines through this conversation. She encourages parents to make money a non-taboo topic. I remember my parents talking about saving, investing and being money conscious growing up, which has helped me as an adult. I hope this episodes encourages you to have more dialog about money with your daughter.

In this episode you will learn:

  • SRI Investing is a team of financial advisors and they specialize in helping people invest in companies whose processes and products are not harming people or the planet
  • Old myth- if you invest this way you give up return but 20 years research shows otherwise


Pink Tax: 42% of the time products marketed to women cost more than those marketed to men and boys

Tampon Tax: Feminine hygiene products-no male equivalent-are treated as “luxury tax” in most states

Earners or Gender Pay Gap-

  • Woman earn $.79 for every $1.00 of what man earns-regardless of education or occupation.
  • Takes three extra months to earn same as man in one year
  • Mothers typically earn $.73 for every $1.00 of men (or $.06 less, which means extra 5 months of work to earn same amount.)
  • 40% of U.S. household with children have mother who is sole or primary earner.
  • Research shows once men become fathers they see a 6% increase in earnings and women see 4% decrease per child
  • Closing this gap has slowed and at current rate will take over 100 years to close.

Good statistics:

Companies who have three or more women on board of directors the statistics show do:

84% better in return on sales

60% better return on capital and 4

6% better return on equity

What can you do to educate you daughter?

  • Talk about how money works
  • Parents openly discuss differences regarding spending/saving and finding ways to compromise
  • Share belief systems-what were you taught as a child about money
  • Teaching budgeting and money management skills
  • Teach about credit and what it means
  • American Association University of Women (AAUW) teaches negotiating skills to women/girls
  • Empower our next generation to change the salary gap Salary does not equal your self-worth
  • Advocate on behalf of daughters through legislation
  • Educate son’s on not penalizing females

If you liked this episode I invite you to subscribe on iTunes to receive the weekly updates. This podcast is also available on Stitcher, Google Play and now iHeartRadio.

Amy’s Information: (There are two i’s) (Best way to get a hold of her is through email)

Website and Book Recommendations: They have negotiating salary workshops

Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead by Sheryl Sandberg

Meet with a financial advisor. SRI investing does coaching with families and couples.

Sep 6, 2016

Today’s guest is Stacey Horn who is a personal development coach specializing in relationships, and a clinical hypnotist in Colorado. In this episode she discusses the power of introverts and how the different temperaments can affect relationships between parents and their teen daughters. In this episode you will learn:

  • Stacey shares her personal experience of her relationship with her mom as a teen and how she is changing that with her daughter
  • Ray W Lincoln’s book “I’m a Keeper” was recommended to her years ago and she has incorporated his teachings into her professional work
  • She uses Temperament Sorters by Ray W Lincoln and focuses on strengths
  • How do you restore your batteries?
    • Staying in or going out with others
    • Takes introverts longer to process and respond *How do you take in information of the world?
  • Use of five senses is “S”
  • Or through sixth sense is “N” *How do you make decisions?
  • Thoughts and analysis is “T”
  • Or how do I feel or how others may feel is “F”
    • Hear differences in peoples use of language “I think” or “I feel” *Lifestyle preferences
  • “J”-make decision and move on; Clear sense of time
  • “P”-like to keep options open or until all information is in; Different awareness of time
  • Every client completes a temperament key 
  • This helps tailor hypnosis treatment
  • Four temperament categories
    • SP-someone in the moment
    • SJ-sensory and driven; and motivated by responsibility
    • NT-analytical and intuitive; techies; show little emotion but feel it deeply
    • NF-intuitive and feeling; healers, counselors, nurses; more of 6th sense-a knowing vs clearly defined
  • Stacey is a NF (saw lot of gray area) and her mom was SJ (saw things as black/white)-struggled during teen years
  • Wants to help stop the disconnect between mothers and daughters
  • Benefits
  • Short term work
  • Work with individuals then may share results between mother and daughter in how to bridge differences
  • Can refer clients to books to gather more information
  • Shares personal example of her getting involved with substances as teen due to being highly sensitive. She sees similar substance use with her adult clients “using substances to self medicate that sensitivity.”Having this knowledge may help teens prevent them from going through this.

If you liked this episode I invite you to subscribe on iTunes to receive the weekly updates. This helps raise the ranking of it, so others who may not have access to mental health services or support in their local community can find it.

This podcast is also available on Stitcher, Google Play and now iHeartRadio.

Stacey’s Information:

Does temperament and hypnosis work

Book Recommendations: Innerkinetics by Ray W Lincoln- for parents

I’m a Keeper

I’m Still a Keeper

Aug 30, 2016

Today’s guest is NaKaisha Tolbert-Banks, licensed clinical social worker and addiction counselor, certified laughter yoga leader and certified empowerment coach in energy leadership here in Indianapolis, IN. She works with teen girls, adults and families to develop, strengthen, and enhance positive relationships with self and others through the understanding and use of laughter. Now here is todays episode.

In this episode you will learn: 

  • Why laughter is used during sessions 
  • No she doesn’t tell jokes 
  • Parents come in frustrated with their teen daughter’s behavior She works with them in stopping and reflecting on events and behaviors and may begin to laugh at themselves for how they responded
  • Begin to change perspectives (both parents and teen daughter) 
  • Embrace having “do-overs”-not about perfection in parenting or with being a teen girl
  • Empowering families
  • “When one person in your inner circle is suffering it affects the whole unit: same when person is feeling empowered”
  • Working with millennials-parents teenage year experiences are different era than their daughter’s now 
  • Social media has changed the landscape 
  • She shares how relationships are built and setting up a family bonding time 
  • Stay flexible during this developmental stage


  • Laughter is beneficial-helps with good oxygen levels into the body 
  • Helps decrease stress-refocusing, shifts mind, “shakes the dust off” 
  • In time of stress need to find clarity
  • Gets endorphins going
  • Yes you can fun in therapy

NaKaisha’s contact information:

Twitter @1stladygiggles

Facebook: DUOEmpowermentServices

Phone: 323-977-8570


Other Recommendations: YouTube videos on Laughter Yoga Apps for phone: CALM or Headspace

Aug 23, 2016

At the time of this recording high schools and colleges are beginning again. This can be both an exciting and nervous time for both teen girls and their parents. In today’s episode I want to explore creating rituals around your daughter preparing to graduate high school this year and going off to college next year or moving out of the family home. If she this is her first year at college I will be sharing some ideas to support her and you (the parents) in this change.

In this episode you will learn:

  • There are various rituals all over the world that acknowledge, celebrate or reflect transitions in life. (Sometimes referred to as rites of passage.)
    • There are graduation ceremonies and open house parties for when your teenage daughter graduates high school 
    • We have funeral services to celebrate and remember those we loved
    • We have rituals around the change in seasons
    • One area I notice that seems to need a little help is creating a ritual within the family system to help with the transition from high to college or into young adulthood. 
    • This is a time for both your daughter and you where you maybe excited and nervous about the up coming changes 
  • You may also feel sadness and loss, which is normal because one chapter in life is closing and another one is opening.
  • Sometimes the sadness gets over looked or it can come out as anger Transitions are about personal development 
  • Transitions involve grieving -of what you had, -of expectations that may not have occurred -of moving forward in what is to come

William Bridges in his book called Transitions states transitions involve an ending, a neutral zone and a new beginning. *

During the ending phase -

  • Disengagement-“we find ourselves periodically being disengaged either willingly or unwillingly from the activities, the relationships, the settings, or the roles that been important to us.” 
  • Disidentification-“In breaking the old connections to the world, the person loses ways of self-definition…most people in transition have the experience of not being quite sure who they are any more.” 
  • Disenchanted-“But there is still the reality in that person’s head-a picture of the “way things are,” which ties the person to the old world with subtle strands of assumptions and expectations.” For example: parents sometimes lie for fear of being imperfect, friends let you down, etc “Many significant transitions not only involve disenchantment, they begin with it.”
  • Disorientation-“One of the first and most serious casualties of disorientation is our sense of and plans for the future.” He states this part “affects not only our sense of space but our sense of time as well.” 

Neutral Zone is a “temporary state of loss” 

  • Here you need to surrender-“the person must give in to the emptiness and stop struggling to escape it.” 
  • Allow yourself to go inward. Bridges suggests setting aside alone time, writing your autobiography, writing about what you want in your life and think about what would be unlived if it was your last day. I suggest quiet time to my clients so the can continue to explore more of who they are in vs who they think they need to be

Making a beginning 

  • “The lesson in all such experience is that when we are ready to make a beginning, we will shortly find an opportunity. The transition process involved an inner realignment and a renewal of energy, both of which depend on immersion in the chaos of the neutral zone.” 
  • “Genuine beginnings depend upon this kind of inner realignment rather than on external shifts, for when we are aligned with deep longings, we become powerfully motivated.”


  • Some ways to help with moving forward in the sadness and excitement is talking about it with one another. 
  • Share your memories of times that made you laugh, your hopes you have for your daughter, ask her what she is hoping for and what she will miss when she is done with high school or moves out.
  • Create a plan around having some quiet family time to reminisce or share favorite family meals together 
  • Go out to her favorite restaurant or dessert place 
  • Watch family movies together- It can be quiet entertaining to watch those past moments and help create a deeper family connection. 
  • Ask her what she would like to do prior to moving out 
  • Remind and encourage your daughter to stay in contact with her current high school friends when she leaves for college. Some of my teen clients think they have to establish all new relationships once they leave for college and think they can’t maintain their current friendships. Yes those relationships can change over time, but they do not need to end the friendships when they leave high school. Parents remember to keep having dates nights and spending time with other adult friends without your children 
  • This is the time of letting go. Letting go of who you used to be and embracing the new you as your daughter moves on in her life 
  • You have raised her, supported her, disagreed with her and loved her in the best ways you knew how. Now it is time for her to continue to branch out and spread her wings. “
  • The ending of childhood is one part of the shift from life's’ morning (or dependency) to life’s noon (or independence). A second part of that shift involved establishing a separate identity, distinct from that of so-and-so child.”

School holidays or breaks: 

  • Reflect and explore what is working and what isn’t with her. Find out if she is needing or wanting anything different from you or her support system 
  • Continue to encourage and support her in her journey into young adulthood 
  • Actively listen to her-you do not need to fix or do anything as she shares her experiences unless she is asking for advice (I will have a future episode in being present in listening) 
  • Self care is important during transition 
  • Allow yourself to explore or be curious on the other side of the change 
  • There is an ending and a new beginning 
  • As a therapist I have had the privilege of witnessing some pretty awesome family moments regarding creating rituals that fits for that specific family. Some just need a little nudge to say it is ok to this and sharing your feelings about the changes can be healthy process. You continue to role model to your daughter yo too have feelings about this transition and supporting her in her journey. 
  • If you need more support I encourage you to seek counseling. If you are in the state of IN I offer both office and online or phone counseling
  • Book Recommendations: Transitions: Strategies for coping with the difficult, painful, and confusing times in your life by William Bridges
Aug 16, 2016

Welcome! Today’s guest is Amanda Campbell, licensed mental health counselor and life coach in Indianapolis, IN. She works with creating connection with distance couples and creating balance for busy moms. Today we focus her work in helping busy moms create a more organized life for themselves and their families. I also wanted to let you know I needed to mark the episode as explicit due to one swear word in the title of what Amanda is offering at the end of the show. There is no other swearing or cussing, but I wanted to share that with you so you know it is not throughout the episode.

In this episode you will learn: 

  • Amanda explains the difference in counseling vs coaching services
  • She works with busy moms who feel overwhelmed or stressed out
    • Whether mom works full time or stay at home with kids
    • Coaching can help with establishing goals, organization and positive perspective
  • Amanda also offers working on goals of parenting and/or relationships
  • She encourages family meetings (for more information on the importance of family meetings listen to Episode 2) and how the goals work for their family

Common Blocks:

  • Mom’s may have expectations they have to do it all
    • Children are in many activities Need to have perfect meal plans
    • Amanda helps moms discern what they want in their life and what works for them
    • Establishing goals is looking at “is it realistic for you life”


  • Learn what organization is for your family 
  • A system is created for your specific family needs
  • How will it fit into your life Coaching packages
  • Work two weeks on specific goals
  • Organization is done around specific goals
  • Doing a brain dump-write down specific tasks ,
  • Break those down into smaller steps
  • Helps keep things more manageable
  • She uses Wunderlist and Evernote app 
  • Separate daily and weekly To-Dos
  • Do you like paper/pencil, wall calendars or technology or combo. Use system(s) that what works for you. 
  • She does quiz to help understand where they struggle with time management
  • Trial and error once you create a system. May need to be changed or modified. 
  • System needs to evolve through different stages in life
  • May change due to season, i.e.summer, when school starts or holidays
  • It is self-created-make it what you want
  • It is stopping the comparison factor with your life has to look like someone else's
  • This creates feeling overwhelmed and perceived standard of “being perfect”
  • Amanda gives personal example of placing an unrealistic expectation on herself and her family regarding birthday parties

If you liked this episode I invite you to subscribe on iTunes to receive the weekly updates. This helps raise the ranking of it, so others who may not have access to mental health services or support in their local community can find it. This podcast is also available on Stitcher, Google Play and now iHeartRadio. You can also listen through Facebook at Launching Your Daughter page.

Amanda’s Information: Sign up for her upcoming online coaching package: Becoming Super Woman: How to have it all without losing your S***

Book Recommendations: Brene Brown-Gift of Imperfection Cline & Fay-Parenting with Love and Logic

Aug 9, 2016

Welcome! Today’s guest is Sharon Martin, licensed clinical social worker in San Jose, CA. She works with adolescents and adults in helping them embrace their imperfections as individuals and as a family.

In this episode you will learn:

  • Sharon began her career working with teenagers 
  • She is a mom of three children
  • In her work she pulls from her own personal teen years and the struggles she had socially, being sensitive person, and with perfectionism
  • “Lost sense of who I was”
  • Perfectionism can impact both teens and adults
    • Increase stress levels
    • If I’m not perfect, then it will be catastrophic
    • Attempting to people please and look for approval of who you are
  • Teens need to separate, become individuals and mess up and learn from their mistakes
  • Supporting parents is similar to how working with teens
    • Help parents in letting go
    • Explore how they as parents are separate from children
    • What do you imagine the the worst thing is going to happen and how realistic is it that it will happen
    • Inner exploration vs looking outside yourself for validation
  • Parallel Processes
    • Teens-grappling with identity of who am I
    • Women-can have “lost of sense of self” as mom and rediscovering who they are
  • Why they seek therapy:
    • To find out “Am I ok” for the teenager and for parents it is “will my child going to be ok”-giving them reassurance and hope
    • Educating being imperfect is enough
    • Change in brain development for this stage
    • We are all imperfect
    • Helpful for parents to model imperfections with children
    • Role model that making mistakes is normal
  • Life is a journey not a destination
  • Benefits of therapy:
    • Help parents and teens explore internal values
    • You will be able to handle anything life throws at you
  • Teens imagine ideal life that won’t turn out exactly like they imagine.
  • Parts of it will be better than expected and parts of it worse than thought.
  • Learn how to take healthy risks

If you liked this episode I invite you to subscribe on iTunes to receive the weekly updates. This podcast is also available on Stitcher, Google Play and now iHeartRadio. To sign up for the newsletter and receive updates go to:

Sharon’s Information:

Book Recommendations: Dr. Kirstin Neff’s-Self-Compassion

Aug 2, 2016

Welcome! Today’s guest is Mercedes Samudio a licensed clinical social worker turned parent coach. She is located in Huntington Beach, CA. Mercedes passion to help end parent shame and empowering families comes through clearly. In today’s episode she shares her work with families in discovering their strengths, areas they are needing support and giving them tools to help navigate the tween and teen years. We also talk about perfectionism and how that impacts parenting and your teenager.

In this episode you will learn:

  • Mercedes speaks to parents in discovering and unlocking their unique parenting powers
  • She takes what the families know, explores what they need and teaches how to implement the tools she gives and what they learn on their own
  • Tween and teen parenting-more exposed with technology which changes their level of development
  • How to understand these development stages
  • What your tween/teen should be developing
    • Normalize changes
    • Helps parents guide child in healthier ways
    • Teachs communication skills
  • Trained in Nonviolent Parenting by Ruth Beaglehole
    • You as a parent help build up child development
    • Foundation is both are humans and learning to navigate this journey together
  • We all want to be seen and heard
  • Mercedes developed “Ending Parent Shame” programs due to parents feeling shamed by others
  • She wants to create a culture when we don’t treat parents that they or their children have to be perfect
  • Help them learn being a parent or being a child is the journey
  • Unlearning old family belief systems
  • Learning healthy ways of connecting is foundation of family
  • Ending the strive for perfection because it doesn’t exist
  • Common wants of parents:
    • Want kids to listen
    • Want others to see this beautiful child
    • Help model to children ok to have frustrations through connection
  • Shame proofing Parents
    • Flaws, strengths and all is family, not the dysfunction
    • Stopping the comparison of Pinterest posts, Facebook posts, etc
    • Fantasy of perfection
    • Ending the comparisons to other parents or families
    • You don’t know the behind-the-scenes for them to get to where they are at
  • Recommendations:
    • Put down the parenting books
      • Look at your children
      • Both their strengths and weaknesses
      • Books are good foundations, but real knowledge comes with who you interact with
      • Also building in when your teen fails or makes bad decisions creating resilience

If you liked this episode I invite you to subscribe on iTunes to receive the weekly updates. This podcast is also available on Stitcher and Google Play. 

Website is

I want to invite you to join my new FB group called Launching Your Daughter. Here you find not only the weekly episodes, but I share articles and blogs to help encourage and inform.

Mercedes’s Information:

Jul 26, 2016

Today’s guest is Marni Goldberg a licensed marriage and family therapist and licensed professional counselor in La Jolla, California. Marni works with college bound teens and their parents in mindfulness skill building to help them manage the transition. In today’s episode she shares her own personal experience in managing anxiety when she was younger to learning new skills when at college. In this episode you will learn: *Marni’s personal experience of working with anxiety when younger

*Can be difficult transition from high school to college

*Marni began to create programs to teach life skills to ease transition

*Teenager may have excelled in high school, but have others in college that also excel and perfectionism can set in

*Pressures on having high achievements vs knowing internal strengths and being enough

*Coping skills that are taught:

*Self-monitoring-how you feel, what are your thoughts *Body awareness-do you need more sleep

*Time management

*Physical exercise

*Relaxation techniques

*Getting involved in social events and social support

*Raising awareness helps in being more proactive in getting support vs waiting until anxiety or depression symptoms feel overwhelming

*Mindfulness can help manage insecurities and “need to know now” thoughts from perceived external drivers

*Parents have loving intentions in supporting teens in high school and may not realize doing too much for teen doesn’t teach decision making skills

*Role play with your teen regarding getting on public transportation or doing an activity for first time on their own

*Exploring your teenagers fears

*Create a plan together

*Marni shares own stories with her clients regarding having to write her first check and being able to laugh at herself with self-compassion

*Explore potential risky situations and what to do

*Marni works mostly with families or young adults who are ready to make a change in their life

*Psycho-education for parents regarding creating safe container for their teen and confidentiality of a session

*Important to have parents involved and help improve relationships between parents and teen

*Relaxation techniques

*Gratitude journaling

*Progressive relaxation and guided meditation

*Writing down teens strengths


*Get out into nature

*Play/have some fun

*Does a strength assessment at beginning of therapeutic process

*Reminds teens it is ok to stay connected with high schools and build new relationships at college

If you liked this episode I invite you to subscribe on iTunes to receive the weekly updates. This podcast is also available on Stitcher and Google Play. I want to invite you to join my new FB group called Launching Your Daughter. Here you find not only the weekly episodes, but I share articles and blogs to help encourage and inform.

Marni’s Information:

Jul 19, 2016

Welcome! Today’s guest is Anne Halleck, licensed mental health counselor and certified yoga teacher here in Indianapolis. She works with women and teen girls providing trauma informed group yoga.

In this episode you will learn:

  • Yoga has eight different stages
  • Yoga is not only exercise, but increasing mindfulness and awareness Anne provides Trauma Informed Yoga groups for women/teen girls
  • Eight weeks long
  • Closed groups
  • Psycho-education on what is trauma
  • Some talk therapy
  • Each week introduce new mindfulness practice (some yoga and more breathing techniques/meditation)
  • Gain new skills to help calm the body and mind 
  • Can process emotions during group and be held in supportive way in moving through intense or strong emotions 
  • Anne had been doing group work separately and her yoga practice separately, then brought both modalities together for trauma work 
  • Bringing awareness to the body can help reduce the stress levels and stop avoiding sensations that can seem scary
  • Benefits of trauma informed yoga:
    • Gain awareness of emotional and physical self 
    • Stop the avoidance of feeling the emotions 
    • Decrease avoidance of autoimmune issues, chronic pain or eating issues 
    • Build confidence 
    • Talking and practicing the skills 
    • Increase distress tolerance and self-soothing
    • Increase awareness of your self-talk
    • Be more in the moment, present
    • Help getting unstuck out of freeze mode
  • Yoga is for every body type 
  • Yoga is a mindfulness practice not necessarily a religious practice 
  • Gain confidence in giving yourself permission to be vulnerable in a group and decrease minimizing or comparing what you have experienced.
  • Trauma can be:
    • Major losses
    • Emotional trauma
    • Abusive relationships
    • Neglect
    • Natural disasters
  • Symptoms can include: 
    • High anxiety 
    • Flashbacks of event 
    • Re-experiencing trauma
    • Being on edge 
    • Avoiding things that remind you of the trauma
  • Some statistics for women: 
    • 1 out of 4 women is sexually assaulted in their lifetime (CDC states 1 out of 2 women experience sexual violence victimization) *
    • Of the 1 out of 4, 70 percent have a trauma prior to 18 years old *
    • Many sexual assaults happen by someone the family knows or acquaintance
  • It is possible to get unstuck and regain your confidence

If you liked this episode I invite you to subscribe on iTunes to receive the weekly updates. This podcast is also available on Stitcher and Google Play.

Anne’s Information: @AnneHalleckCounseling on FaceBook

Book Recommendations:

The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel Van Der Kolk, M.D. Overcoming Trauma through Yoga:Reclaiming your body by David Emerson and Elizabeth Hopper, PH.D.

Other websites:

Jul 12, 2016

Welcome! Today’s guest is Dr. Nazanin Moali, clinical psychologist in California specializing in treatment of eating disorders and addictions. She has a private practice in LA area for teens and families and is a consultant for a residential facility. Nazanin is a wealth of information regarding warning signs, the spectrum of eating disorders and the type of treatments available if your daughter is struggling with these issues. Now here is todays episode.

In this episode you will learn:

  • Focus on behaviors vs what adolescent says due to possible denial of an issue
  • Teen may state as “I want to eat healthier”
  • Warning Signs of potential eating disorder:
  • Teenager getting and reading diet books
  • Changes in eating behaviors (out of blue become vegetarian)
  • Going to restroom during or after meal possible purging behaviors
  • Spectrum from healthy eating and self-image to unhealthy eating behavior and self-image
  • Unhealthy eating behaviors:
    • Losing significant amount of weight in short amount of time
      • Can cause long term negative medical issues
      • Possible Anorexia
    • Engaging in restriction of not eating food and doing purging behavior
      • Can be the form of over-exercising
    • Using laxatives
    • Self-induced vomiting (can be learned from peers and social media)
      • Parents become more aware of possible videos daughters are watching that show them how to purge
    • Binge eating disorder-eat more than one person would typically eat. Overeating than shame triggered after behavior
    • Avoidant Food Restrictive disorder-“picky eaters”
  • Treatment options:
    • Speak with your partner and daughter about possible issues, then go to pediatrician who work with eating disorder
    • If medically stable can do outpatient therapy using family based therapy so whole family is involved
    • Residential treatment maybe recommended if not getting results from outpatient or pediatrician refers due to medically not stable, like low heart rate or low blood pressure
  • Eating disorder are a combination of genetics, environment, school system environment, peers and more
  • Teen in denial and need parent to take change to get help Anorexia can impact cognition and view of their world or perceptions
  • Differentiate your daughter from eating disorder Maybe a perfectionist or star at school and this image can get in way of seeing issues
  • Research shows 50% of women on diet.
  • Body shaming in media can trigger shame
  • Creating resilience and prevention:
    • Look at parts you like, what you are grateful for to shift mindset as a family
    • Have regular family meals-not only connecting but role modeling healthy foods

If you liked this episode I invite you to subscribe on iTunes to receive the weekly updates. This podcast is also available on Stitcher and Google Play.

Nazanin’s Information:

Book Recommendations: Helping Your Teenager Beat an Eating Disorder by James Lock, MD, PhD & Daniel Le Grange, PhD.

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