Launching Your Daughter

Launching Your Daughter podcast was created to support parents and caregivers in empowering their tween and teen girls as they prepare for young adulthood. Guests will be interviewed to discuss topics such as anxiety, perfectionism, depression, trauma, relationship struggles, budgeting time and money, nutrition and self-care. Conversations about mindfulness, self compassion, mind, body and spirit connections, holistic and alternative approaches used in psychotherapy and counseling will also be explored. As the host of Launching Your Daughter, my name is Nicole Burgess and I’m a licensed marriage and family therapist, transpersonal psychotherapist, parent educator and adolescent mentor. For more information go to the website at
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Launching Your Daughter


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Now displaying: June, 2016
Jun 28, 2016

Welcome. At the time of this recording it is summer and many teenagers have part-time jobs. If you haven’t been talking about why it is important to save or have a budget now is the time. Ideally teaching your daughter from an early age is helpful, but if you haven’t it is ok. Today’s episode is not about financial advice, but gaining an understanding of your family beliefs around money and how to help set your daughter up to succeed in managing her money. I recommend speaking to an accountant or financial adviser for specific advice on financial planning.

Here’s what you learn in today’s episode:

  • Create a budget with specific percentages of how much is saved, spent and given to charitable contributions
  • Establish a savings and/or checking account for her at the bank
  • Set-up a family meeting to discuss money management, creating a budget and meeting weekly to review how the process is going
  • Teaching her budgeting skills now will assist her as an adult to be more financially savvy and feel empowered.
  • Explore your own beliefs and values around money. What messages did you receive about money growing up and what messages are you giving your daughter?
  • Read books on budgeting or money management from authors such as Dave Ramsey or Suze Orman or others.

If you liked this episode I invite you to subscribe on iTunes to receive the weekly updates. This podcast is also available on Stitcher and Google Play. Or go to

Jun 21, 2016

Welcome! My guest today is Dr. Melissa Dettore who is a psychologist and yoga instructor. She is  located in Philadelphia, PA.

Melissa offers a variety of workshops for adults and teens wanting to manage their anxiety or depression symptoms using yoga and mindfulness in her practice. She explains how mindfulness can change the brain and help in managing stressors in life. I have done yoga on and off for years and love how it allows for each person to focus on their breathing, become more aware of their body and moving into a pose. I find it to be a great way to do moving meditation. I hope you enjoy the episode as much as I did with Melissa. I think yoga and mindfulness can not only benefit teen girls, but support parents as well. 

In this episode you will learn:

  • Melissa has been doing yoga and mindfulness for years
  • Melissa shares a personal experience of how mindfulness and her yoga practice helped her through cancer treatment.
  • Yoga and mindfulness have the following benefits:
    • Reduce stress
    • Reduce anxiety and depression
    • Create new connections in the brain
  • Facts about yoga to address concerns:
    • Any body type can do yoga
    • Can go at your own pace
    • Do not have to have specific outfit to do yoga
    • We all have fears
    • Listen to your own body, creating a mind/body connection
    • Yoga can help parents role model to daughters about practicing mindfulness regarding our own judgements and expectations and letting them go
  • Basic Foundations of mindfulness
    • Awareness
    • Being in present moment
    • Non-judgment and letting go of judgments
    • Beginners mind-looking at everything through new set of eyes and staying curious
  • For teen girls-gaining skills around awareness, non-judging and acceptance are important
  • Some of mindfulness and yoga practices are based in Buddhist philosophy
  • Girls who struggle with “anxiety aren’t in present moment and worried about the future.If feeling depressed they are stuck in the past. Mindfulness they can begin to bring awareness back to here and now.”
  • Mindfulness can help lower breathing rate, feel more calm, and can use these techniques before a test to reduce stress level or do some yoga stretches in the morning.
  • Mindfulness “is like strength training-you want to build the mind muscles up.”
  • During meditation it is normal for your mind to wonder and have thoughts
    • notice them and bring yourself back to breathing
    • Thoughts are like clouds in the sky, just let them pass by.


If you liked this episode I invite you to subscribe on iTunes to receive the weekly updates. This podcast is also available on Stitcher and Google Play. 

Melissa’s information:


Book Recommendations:

The Mindful Teen by Dr. Dzung Vo

A Still Quiet Place: Mindfulness for Teens by Amy Saltzman, MD

Jon Kabat-Zinn’s books

Yoga journal and for videos

Jun 14, 2016

Welcome! My guest today is Charlotte Hiler Easely who is a licensed clinical social worker of Charlotte Hiler Easely LLC. She is trained in EMDR, certified in equine assisted psychotherapies through PATH, Int. and EAGALA and located in Lexington, KY.

Charlotte offers a variety of workshops for women and one of them she mentions in our conversation is called “Gracefully Letting Go”. This workshop is for Moms who have children that are graduating and preparing to leave the nest. She talks about how mom’s are asked “how do I do this with grace and manage all the emotions?” Working with horses is an experiential approach. I have done this work in the past and I worked with an equine specialist. I found this approach to be helpful and create positive changes for the families I worked with. I hope you enjoy the episode as much as I did with Charlotte. Her work with mothers and using horses can create deeper connections and improve confidence levels.

In this episode you will learn:

*Why horses are used and how they can help women/mothers gain better self-awareness, improve communication skills and set healthy boundaries.

*Horses are large and powerful. This creates a natural opportunity for some to overcome fear and develop confidence. Working alongside a horse, in spite of those fears, creates confidence and provides wonderful insight when dealing with other intimidating and challenging situations in life.

*Horses are social animals, with defined roles within their herds. *Horses are non-judgmental and non-critical.

*Charlotte shared that during a session she will check in with the woman on what their horse is doing. She will comment on observing the horse’s behavior, ask the woman to reflect back what she thinks the horse is doing and how it applies to the woman’s life.

*Because horses can read and respond to the nonverbal messages we are always sending, they begin to act in ways that feel familiar to other relationships or dynamics in our lives.

*The horse’s prey-nature and intense sensitivity to subtle changes in their environment and to changes in humans (we are predatory creatures) make them perfect partners to teach us a wide range of life and coping skills. They are reflectors of our true selves because their very survival depends on reading us right.

*They provide us with information about non-verbal communication, emotions, and changes in our awareness. Observing horse reactions to our actions and behavior helps further self-awareness.

Charlotte gives examples of how a herd of horses are used during the workshop and applying that to the mother’s family where her teen daughter is leaving. Horses can help parents learn to observe behaviors, explore how that behavior impacts the horse herd and begin to relate it back on how it may affect their other children. “How is that like your teenager who is leaving the herd while the rest of you are staying with the herd?”

*This work is done on the ground and there is no riding. You do not need horse experience. Horses can help women be vulnerable in a new way and not be in control at all times. Working with horses can help the women take off their masks and for their hearts to begin to open allowing them to feel what they may have been afraid to feel.

*Horses help us practice being in the moment and being present. Becoming more aware of our surroundings, your body, keeping yourself safe and practice new ways of being. It also helps different parts of the brain begin to light up and change due to activation of being mindful.

Charlotte shared when we are more mindful of our behaviors this can help create deeper connections in our children. “If we look at how do we approach a horse in his space and then how do we approach our daughters space in a way that we can share with her information that we think is valuable. It is about your body postures not your words.”

If you liked this episode I invite you to subscribe on iTunes to receive the weekly updates. This podcast is also available on Stitcher and Google Play.

Charlotte’s information:

Facebook: charlottehilereasleyLCSW

Pintrest: cheeasleylcsw

Resources: (Can find local providers on the site)

Gratitude Journal-write down what you are grateful for and what is working in your life.

Book Recommendations: Chris Irwin: Horses Don’t Lie (for those thinking of going into this work or understand horse behavior more)

Townsend and Cloud book series on Boundaries

Brene Brown: Gift of Imperfection

Kirstin Neff: Self-compassion

Linda Graham LMFT: Bouncing Back

Jun 7, 2016

Today’s Book Corner episode is on Amy Cuddy’s book called Presence: Bringing your Boldest Self to your Biggest Challenges published in 2015 by Little, Brown and Company; Hachette Book Group in New York. Amy was in a car accident when she was 19 years old and left her with a traumatic brain injury. Amy talks about how it left her feeling “anxious, disoriented, making bad decisions, not sure what to do next” in her life. Currently she is a Harvard Business School professor and social psychologist, known around the world. Throughout this book, Amy shares scientific research and interviews on the connection between our bodies and minds. How we can manage challenges and stressors in our lives through being present, more aware of body poses and small nudges can make a big differences. She defines presence as “ the state of being attend to and able to comfortably express our true thoughts, feelings, values, and potential.” (p.24) She shares that when we are present we can: feel more confident be more authentic, help others feel more seen and heard, and have more personal power.

She discussed impostor syndrome, how most of us have felt this at one time or another and it is not just felt by women or specific demographics. “When we feel like imposters, we don’t attribute our accomplishments to something internal and constant, such as talents or ability; instead we credit something beyond our control, such as luck.” (p. 101)

Amy shares illustrations in the book on powerful vs powerless poses and how we hold our bodies impacts our thoughts and feelings. She shares some of William Jame’s research from the 1800’s on the body/mind connections. In her TED talk she shares doing the Wonder Woman pose and in the book shares a women sharing her and her family “starfish up” (standing with your arms above your head as if you scored a goal and your feet hip width apart.) If you are not feeling confident or struggling with anxiety, try standing in one of these poses for a minute or two and notice if you begin to feel different. Another body/mind connection she speaks about is yoga. In future podcast episodes I will share interviews with yoga instructors and how this can help reduce anxiety or depressive symptoms.

The last part of the book, Amy discussed how small incremental changes, or nudges, can lead to big changes in our lives. “Nudges are effective for several reasons: 1.Nudges are small and require minimal psychological and physical commitment 2.Nudges operate via psychological shortcuts, 3. Our attitudes follow from our behaviors” Remember the neurons that fire together wire together, which means when you do specific behaviors over and over those behaviors are reinforced.

As Amy states in her TED talk and in this book “Don’t fake it till you make it, fake it till you become it.”

I hope you have enjoyed the brief review of Amy Cuddy’s book. You can find a link on my resource page at Or watch her TED talk from 2012.

If you are seeking therapy for your daughter and located in Indiana, I offer virtual or online counseling. Please go to