Today’s episode I share how parents can learn to manage their expectations of their daughters, explore their own emotions and how assertive communication skills come into play. Relationships are work whether it is a parent/child or friendship or partnership. When we project our expectations onto the other person, then we create our own frustrations or suffering vs letting go of the outcome.
In this episode you will learn:
I want to say thank you to all my listeners and for those of you who have written to me about topics you are interested in hearing. I invite you to sign up for my newsletter to stay update and receive other parenting tips or information about upcoming events at http://www.LaunchingYourDaughter.com.
Today’s guest is Daniela Paolone, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who practices in Westlake Village, CA. Daniela specializes in supporting people living with chronic pain, illness, anxiety, and depression. In today’s episode she shares mindfulness and emotional freedom techniques along with the science behind how these techniques can help manage symptoms. Daniela discusses how parents who have chronic pain or illness can stay connected to their daughter and ways parents can support their daughter if she has chronic pain or illness. Daniela completed her Masters in Counseling Psychology with a Specialization in Latino Counseling. After earning her
Daniela completed her Masters in Counseling Psychology with a Specialization in Latino Counseling. After earning her masters degree she continued working with children as a behavioral specialist for children with special needs and/or emotional difficulties. At this time she also began working as an intern in private practice where she worked mostly with clients of diverse ethnic and cultural backgrounds who were struggling with a history of addiction, trauma, intimate partner violence, divorce, and difficult life transitions.
During the episode, Daniela discusses the Emotional Freedom Technique, which is a combination of counseling therapy and Chinese acupressure. Specific points on the body are tapped on by the client using gentle pressure while a conversation is gently guided on a particular emotion and life experience.
In this episode you will learn:
For full show notes go to www.LaunchingYourDaughter.com and to sign up for my newsletter.
Today’s guest is Elizabeth Bonet who is a certified Hypnotherapist with a PhD in Clinical Psychology, an author, podcaster, and yoga teacher. Dr. Bonet helps people feel more emotionally stable, happier and more connected to their partner, friends, and loved ones. Her specialties are hypnosis and anxiety along with doing couples counseling and Perinatal Mood Disorders. She has been a yoga teacher for over 15 years and was the founder of Yogafairy Prenatal Yoga, which she sold in May of 2016. Elizabeth is a single mom of two daughters, a cat and a rescue dog.
In this episode you will learn: What is hypnosis How it can help reduce anxiety How mindfulness can help being a single parent and entrepreneur For full show notes go to www.LaunchingYourDaughter.com and to sign up for my newsletter.
For full show notes go to www.LaunchingYourDaughter.com or (www.nicolecburgess.com/ep46) and to sign up for my newsletter.
Today’s guest is LaTasha Hudson, Vice President of Development and Public Relations for Girls, Inc here in Indianapolis, IN. She has been the Director of Programs for 5 years and has the most direct program experience within our organization. She has a passion for serving girls in our community. Girls Inc is a national organization empowering girls and their parents.
In this episode you will learn:
For full show notes go to www.LaunchingYourDaughter.com and to sign up for my newsletter.
In today’s episode, I’m going to talk about mindfulness and a product I use that helps me meditate called Muse. Studies have shown that mindfulness and meditation can reduce anxiety, depression, chronic pain, and increase gray matter in our brains. The increase in gray matter can improve our brain health, cognitive abilities, and awareness. As we gain more self-awareness and are more in the present moment, then we are able to show up in relationships and fully listen. We are more able to respond to situations vs react to them, calm ourselves, and use healthier coping skills.
In this episode you will learn:
To see the full show notes visit http://www.LaunchingYourDaughter.com I invite you to sign up for my newsletter to receive tips and tools for parenting a teen girl.
Today’s episode is words of encouragements from mother’s of adult daughters to mom’s of teenage daughters. Mothers from around the country shared what they learned when their daughters were teens and how these lessons help them create a strong bond with their adult daughters today. Being a parent of a teenager can be challenging and rewarding. It is a developmental stage in life, which means it doesn’t last forever.
In this episode, you will learn:
For full show notes go to www.LaunchingYourDaughter.com and to sign up for my newsletter with tips and tools in raising teenage daughters.
Today's guest is the creator of Talk Sex with Me Tara Spears. In this episode, Tara talks about the difficulties of talking about sex with teenagers, the importance of knowing your own values and reasons why parents themselves may struggle to talk about sex with their teenagers. Ms. Spears graduated with a Master’s Degree in Counselor Education from the University of Central Florida in 2005. She is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Licensed Mental Health Counselor and Certified Sex Therapist. She has over ten years of experience working with individuals, children, families, and couples encountering a variety of hardships in life. After spending most of her career responding reactively to situations or intervening after a crisis (i.e. a child’s removal from the home, failed adoption, and the aftermath of abuse), Ms. Spears decided to take a more proactive approach. For full show notes go to www.LaunchingYourDaughter.com and to sign up for my newsletter.
Today’s guest is Matt Hart who is from southern Indiana. Matt has been a high school Theatre, English, Speech and Debate teacher for just over 20 years and also served as a theater director at Gibson Southern High School. More recently Matt has chosen to pursue an endeavor he is passionate about speaking to people about bullying. He gives a 45 minute presentation entitled “reACT to Bullying” to various schools across Indiana and continues to reach more schools through out the country to help educate and stop bullying in our schools.
In this episode you will learn:
For full show notes go to www.LaunchingYourDaughter.com and to sign up to receive announcements about my local teen girls group and support/tips for moms. This podcast is also available on Stitcher, Google Play, YouTube and iHeartRadio.
Today’s episode is about teen dating abuse and violence. I know this topic can be difficult to hear, but I am encouraging you to listen because unfortunately this continues to be an all to common issue I see in my practice. In the past I co-facilitated a domestic violence batterer’s intervention group for teen boys. They had been charged with being physically abusive toward a partner or family member or a person and were required to attend a either a 26 or 52 week program for perpetrators. The agency I worked at had a group for teen girls and two different groups for adult males and females.
In this episode you will learn:
For full show notes go to www.LaunchingYourDaughter.com and to sign up to receive announcements about my local teen girls group and future online events for moms. This podcast is also available on Stitcher, Google Play, YouTube and now iHeartRadio.
Today’s guest is Chonteau McElvin and she is located in Winter Garden, FL. Chonteau is often called a Modern Day Medicine Woman and she has been empowering women to tap into their inner wise woman for over 20 years. Chonteau spent over half of her social work career empowering and teaching teen girls about mindfulness and the importance of sacred ritual. She now has a thriving intuitive coaching practice where she supports mostly women, awaken their authentic selves through archetypal awareness, energy medicine and other shamanic healing methods. She recently founded Soul Care University, a distance learning and virtual healing center that focuses on one's soul nourishment and self care through the sacred healing practices of nature therapy, mindfulness, and ritual. Chonteau continues to teach mindfulness to teen girls and is working on an e-course The Mindful Diva-Meditation and Moonbeams For Teen Girls. Chonteau brings Folk Healing to a modern world that desperately needs to slow down, reconnect to nature and cultivate self compassion.
In this episode you will learn:
For full show notes go to www.LaunchingYourDaughter.com and to sign up to receive announcements about my local teen girls group and future online event for moms. This podcast is also available on Stitcher, Google Play, YouTube and now iHeartRadio.
My guest today is Dena Patton. Dena followed her dream to move to NYC at age 22 and built her own business at age 24 but after a minor stroke at age 27 she sold her marketing company and followed her calling to work with girls and women. She became a speaker, best selling author and coach who work with leaders and women entrepreneurs to help them build companies that make a great difference in the world. She is the creator of Greatness Leadership Academy and author of Igniting Greatness. In 2007 she cofounded the Girls Rule Foundation that offers 5 programs that help teen girls build leadership, self-confidence and bright futures. Her passion is to help women and girls know their worth, know themselves and know their valuable place in the world.
In this episode you will learn:
For full show notes go to www.LaunchingYourDaughter.com and to sign up for my newsletter. I share tips and tools for parents in supporting their daughters and announce upcoming events.
Today’s guest is Dara Hoffman-Fox who is a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC), gender therapist, speaker and author of “You and Your Gender Identity”. Her private practice is located in Colorado Springs CO. Dara works with transgender, gender variant, and gender questioning individuals.
In this episode you will learn:
For full show notes go to www.LaunchingYourDaughter.com and to sign up to receive announcements about my local teen girls group and future online event for moms. This podcast is also available on Stitcher, Google Play, YouTube and now iHeartRadio.
Today’s episode is a meditation called Loving Kindness or Metta Bhavana. It is a method of developing compassion. It comes from the Buddhist tradition, but it can be adapted and practiced by anyone, regardless of religious affiliation; loving-kindness meditation is essentially about cultivating love. It is unconditional; it does not depend on whether one “deserves” it or not; it is not restricted to friends and family; it extends out from personal categories to include all living beings. There are no expectations of anything in return. This is the ideal, pure love, which everyone has within them. We begin with loving ourselves, because if we don’t love and acceptance ourselves, it is difficult to extend it to others. Loving kindness is without any desire to possess another. It is not a sentimental feeling of goodwill, not an obligation, but comes from a selfless place. It does not depend on relationships, on how the other person feels about us. There are five groups or areas you focus on during this meditation: yourself, a benefactor, a beloved friend or family member, a neutral person and a difficult person. Use three to four phrases with each person. In this episode you will learn: Guided meditations can help manage anxiety Loving Kindness Meditation cultivates compassion Can do this guided meditation in stages
To see the full show notes visit http://LaunchingYourDaughter.com
I invite you to sign up for my newsletter because I making announcements for local teen girls groups and future online events for mothers.
Today’s episode is for parents and the role they have been doing over the last year. Parenting is a full time job with both its challenges and rewards. At the time of this recording it is December and we await for the new year to begin. I am inviting all parents to set aside some time and reflect on your role as a parent. Most parents I work with struggle to see what they are doing well or celebrate how they have broken negative family patterns, such as abuse. So today I am asking you to get out some paper and a pen, set some time for you to reflect either by yourself and/or with your partner, and explore what went well for the year. What areas you may want to adjust/change for next year and what you are grateful for. Once you have done this you may want to encourage your daughters to do the same. Many tween and teen girls struggle with seeing their strengths, obstacles they have overcome and courage that is within them. You never know this may become a family tradition at the end of the year.
In this episode you will learn:
To see the full show notes visit http://launchingYourdaughter.com
I invite you to sign up for my newsletter because I have some upcoming announcements for teen girls and for mothers.
My guest today is Natalie DeFay-Foster, a licensed associate marriage and family therapist at Integrative Art Therapy in Phoenix, Arizona. Natalie is a trained Clinical Art Therapist and specializes in working with adolescents, adults and families. I am excited to speak with her today in how art therapy can be beneficial in working with teen girls and their parents. In this episode you will learn: You don’t need any previous art experience to participate Art therapy can deepen and change family relationships Art therapy can improve communication and relationship skills between parents and teens
For full show notes go to www.LaunchingYourDaughter.com and to sign up for my newsletter on some upcoming announcements I will be making for both teen girls and their moms.
Today’s episode is all about boundaries. What are boundaries or limit setting, tips for setting boundaries and why they are important for teen girls and parents. Each week I discuss boundaries with my adult and teen girl clients. There are many myths about what a boundary is and misunderstandings on how to set them.
In this episode you will learn:
To see the full show notes visit http://launchingYourdaughter.com
I invite you to sign up for my newsletter because I have some upcoming announcements for teen girls and for mothers.
My guest today is Dr. Lisa Damour, a psychologist and director of the internationally renowned Laurel School’s Center for Research on Girls. Lisa pulls back the curtain on the teenage years and shows why your daughter’s erratic and confusing behavior is actually healthy, necessary, and natural. Her book Untangled Guiding Teen Girls through the Seven Transitions into Adulthood, an instant New York Times best seller, explains what’s going on, prepares parents for what’s to come, and lets them know when it’s time to worry. I am excited to speak with Lisa today about her book and dive a little deeper in one of the chapters. In this episode you will learn: Why Lisa wrote the book Helping parents and teen girls prepare for the future Teenage development is not a personal affront to parents Preparing for the future Requirements and concerns have changed over last ten years These changes are not in alignment with normal development Creating stress for parents and teen girls Can create parents to be too involved Many colleges to choose from, so not a crisis unless parents want teen to attend their school or believe only a few good colleges Power Struggle with homework Allowing teen daughter to receive consequences for her choices in completing assignments or preparing for school tests May need to rule out learning disorder or attention issues Parents have choice of negative outcome or positive outcome depending on what they say or do Lisa shares with parents in giving themselves permission to make these “mistakes” when daughter is in middle school vs waiting until high school Allow your daughter to feel disappointment Teens can struggle with perspective and here is where parents can support her as she moves through this temporary feeling/moment in her life Normal development for your daughter to place autonomy over majority of issues Leverage becomes about removing freedoms/privileges Using her desire for autonomy to help leverage because you can’t “make her” do anything Tips from Lisa Not taking your daughter’s journey into teenage land as personal “Can feel like a breakup” because when she was younger she would laugh at your jokes then around 12 or 13 she no longer thinks your funny Normal development can be challenging and hard If she could rename the book she call it “It’s not about you” because teenage development can seem like a personal affront to parents and its not Parents give yourselves permission to grieve the loss of this change in your relationship with your teen daughter because it is a loss Seek support from friends and colleagues during this stage of life I have some upcoming announcements I will be making for both teen girls and their moms, so go to www.LaunchingYourDaughter.com to sign up for the newsletter. This podcast is also available on Stitcher, Google Play, YouTube and now iHeartRadio. Lisa’s Information: Website: www.drlisadamour.com Book: Untangled Guiding Teen Girls through the Seven Transitions into Adulthood
Today’s guest is Jonathan Singer who is an associate professor of social work at Loyola University Chicago's school of social work and the founder and host of the Social Work Podcast. He is the author of dozens of publications, including the 2015 book "Suicide in Schools: A Practitioner's Guide to Multi-level Prevention, Assessment, Intervention, and Postvention." Jonathan has been a practicing social worker for 20 years and has spent much of that time working with suicidal youth and their families. He's a Hoosier by birth and graduate of Earlham College in Richmond, IN. He lives in Evanston, IL with his wife and three kids. In this episode you will learn: Examples of how parents can communicate with their teenager about concerns of suicide Breaking a myth around suicide Resources available for parents, teens and mental health professionals Jonathan’s experience with working with suicidal folks He is a teacher and researcher Working with folks who are suicidal for years Uses family system perspective LGBT teens can be higher risk if there is no family support Trained in attachment based family therapy He described rupture/break between child and parents Uses a structured approach Explore both sides of where break happens Kids doesn't have to come to parent for everything except when kid is talking about suicide Statistics Stats are from looking at all Americans 43,000 suicides in 2014 Hard to compare state to state-can look at American Association of Suicidology which share data once a year 65 and older-rate is 16.6 per 100,00 or 21 suicides per day 45 to 64-rate is 19.5 per 100,000 or 45 suicides per day young is 15 to 24 yrs old-rate is 11.6 per 100,000 or 14 per day Thoughts of suicide are not normative Stats show 12% of kids up to age 18 yrs old have had thoughts of suicide Yet “normal enough” need to acknowledge kids talk about suicide Breaking a myth Breaking the myth that speaking about suicide will make person suicidal It is ok to bring up the topic with your child and explore if they have had friends talk about suicide Jonathan gives examples of what parents can say to their teen Role modeling shows you are not afraid to speak about suicide Want to connect with other parents vs manage by yourself Search Institute-40 Developmental Assets-shares positive indicators is parents in a community with other parents having shared parenting values Can seek support from other parents/friends on Facebook and know Facebook algorithms may not rank post high Jonathan discussed DOCZ app-which has peer support and health professionals available for parents needing support Find out your teen’s school policies regarding suicide and mental health management Does school have signs of strength (SOS) club? Do they do universal screening and if they have a concern what do they do? Jonathan discussed his book for mental health professionals The forms are useable and copyright goes with owner of book Can input data into forms Resources http://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ https://afsp.org/about-suicide/suicide-statistics/ http://www.suicidology.org/resources/facts-statistics DOCZ app http://www.crisistextline.org/ https://spsmchat.com/-Suicide prevention in social media Search Institute http://www.search-institute.org/content/40-developmental-assets-adolescents-ages-12-18 I invite you to subscribe to my newsletter because I have some upcoming announcements for teen girls and their moms. This podcast is also available on Stitcher, Google Play, YouTube and now iHeartRadio. Website is www.LaunchingYourDaughter.com Jonathan’s Information: Website: http://socialworkpodcast.blogspot.com/ Twitter: @socworkpodcast Facebook: www.facebook.com/swpodcast Email: jonathan.b.singer@gmail.com Book: Suicide in Schools: A Practitioner's Guide to Multi-level Prevention, Assessment, Intervention, and Postvention
Today’s guest is Jessica Paist who has her degree in marriage and family therapy and is located in Jenkintown, PA. Jessica is a teen therapist who specializes in empowering tween and teen girls. She uses a family systems approach, which means she supports the parents along with their daughters.
In this episode you will learn:
To find out more check out the show notes at http://nicolecburgess.com/ep30
Today’s guest is Lynn Dutrow who is a licensed clinical professional counselor and courage coach in Frederick, Maryland. She has over 25 years of experience in the psychology and education fields and now offers coaching to teens and adults who struggle with anxiety.
In this episode you will learn:
How coaching is different than counseling
How coaching can help manage anxiety
Coaching parents
What can stop parents in beginning coaching
Benefits of Coaching:
Book Recommendations:
Anxious Kids,Anxious Parents: 7 Ways to Stop the Worry Cycle and Raise Courageous and Independent Children by Reid Wilson and Lynn Lyons I invite you to sign up for my newsletter.
I have some upcoming announcements I will be making, so go to www.LaunchingYourDaughter.com. This podcast is also available on Stitcher, Google Play, YouTube and now iHeartRadio.
Lynn’s Information:
Website: www.auntieanxiety.com
Today’s guest is Amy Morin who is a licensed clinical social worker, psychotherapist, and a lecturer at Northeastern University. She is also a keynote speaker, parent teen expert and child discipline expert for VeryWell.com and best selling author of 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do. I watched Amy’s TED talk, The Secret of Becoming Mentally Strong, recently and I am excited to speak with her today about how parents and teens can build resilience.
In this episode you will learn:
Why Amy wrote a book
Tip for Parents
As you practice these concepts, it can help not only you build resilience when tough times happen, but also help your teen daughter gain this skill.
I invite you to sign up for my newsletter. I have some upcoming announcements I will be making, so go to www.LaunchingYourDaughter.com. This podcast is also available on Stitcher, Google Play, YouTube and now iHeartRadio.
Amy’s Information:
Website: www.AmyMorinLCSW.com
Her eCourse: http://amymorinlcsw.com/ecourse/
Her book: http://amymorinlcsw.com/book/
At the time of this recording fall is here, which means here in the U.S. that holidays are approaching. For many people the holidays are filled with happiness and family gatherings. For some people the holidays may be filled with sadness and loss. If you have lost a parent, partner, family member, friend or a family pet, I will discuss some ways to cope with the loss.
In this episode you will learn:
Ways to Cope
Seek professional help
Planning and preparing yourself
“There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are the messengers of overwhelming grief, of deep contrition, and of unspeakable love.” by Washington Irving
Book recommendations:
On Death and Dying by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross
On Grief and Grieving: Finding the Meaning of Grief Through the Five Stages of Loss by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross and David Kessler
The Wheel of Life by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross and Todd Gold
Contact Nicole if you are in Indiana or the Indianapolis area and seeking professional help. www.LaunchingYourDaughter.com
Today’s guest is Jennifer McGurk a registered dietitian nutritionist and certified eating disorder registered dietitian. Her practice is located in Nyack, NY. Jennifer believes that every client has different nutrition needs and what’s right for one person may not be right for another. She believes in intuitive and mindful eating, and structures her sessions based on lifestyle changes, behavior modifications with food, and creative and realistic meal planning strategies.
In this episode you will learn:
For therapist and dietitians
For parents
Book Recommendations
Healthy at Every Size by Linda Bacon (http://www.lindabacon.org/haesbook/) Body Kindness book by Rebecca Scritchfield http://bodykindnessbook.com/ Rebecca’s podcast http://www.rebeccascritchfield.com/podcast/ Intuitive Eating by Evelyn Tribole and Elyse Resch
If you liked this episode I invite you to subscribe on iTunes to receive the weekly updates. This podcast is also available on Stitcher, Google Play, YouTube and now iHeartRadio. Website is www.LaunchingYourDaughter.com
Jennifer’s Information:
Website: http://eatwithknowledge.com/
For therapist: http://www.pursuingprivatepractice.com/ for book
Today’s guest is Dr. Melvin Varghese a psychologist in Philadelphia, PA and host of the popular podcast Selling the Couch. He is a colleague and my mentor in this podcasting journey. We discuss what perfectionism looks like from a male perspective, how it impacted Melvin growing up and how he manages it as an adult. One goal of this episode is to continue to raise awareness how perfectionism not only affects women, but men too and ways to challenge old thoughts/stories we tell ourselves. Now here is todays episode.
In this episode you will learn:
Embracing imperfection
Self-Care skills:
Recommendations:
Sue Johnson-Hold Me Tight
Brene Brown-The Gift of Imperfection
Tal Ben-Shahar, Ph.D.-The Pursuit of Perfect: How to Stop Chasing Perfection and Start Living a Richer, Happier Life
If you liked this episode I invite you to subscribe on iTunes to receive the weekly updates. This podcast is also available on Stitcher, Google Play, YouTube and now iHeartRadio. Website is www.LaunchingYourDaughter.com
Melvin’s Information:
Website: http://sellingthecouch.com/
Coming soon for entrepreneur: http://melvinvarghese.com/
Todays guest is Laura Reagan LCSW-C. She is a Certified Daring WayTM facilitator, in private practice located in Severna Park, Maryland and has a podcast called Therapy Chat. She specializes in working with adults who have experienced some childhood relational trauma, such as emotional or physical neglect, physical, sexual or emotional abuse, or have witnessed domestic violence. On todays episode Laura shares what parents and teen girls can do if they believe they have been sexually abused.
In this episode you will learn:
What can parent do:
What not to do:
Resources:
Allies in Healing-book for how to support an adult who was abused as a child
Local Sexual Assault Association For Indiana http://indianacesa.org/
State wide local coalition One Billion Rising Revolution http://www.onebillionrising.org/
1 in 6 organization-male survivors of sexual assault https://1in6.org/ RAINN https://www.rainn.org/
If you liked this episode I invite you to subscribe on iTunes to receive the weekly updates. This podcast is also available on Stitcher, Google Play, YouTube and now iHeartRadio. Website is www.LaunchingYourDaughter.com
Laura’s Information:
Website: www.therapychatpodcast.com
Podcast: Therapy Chat (iTunes, Stitcher, YouTube and iHeartRadio)