Launching Your Daughter

Launching Your Daughter podcast was created to support parents and caregivers in empowering their tween and teen girls as they prepare for young adulthood. Guests will be interviewed to discuss topics such as anxiety, perfectionism, depression, trauma, relationship struggles, budgeting time and money, nutrition and self-care. Conversations about mindfulness, self compassion, mind, body and spirit connections, holistic and alternative approaches used in psychotherapy and counseling will also be explored. As the host of Launching Your Daughter, my name is Nicole Burgess and I’m a licensed marriage and family therapist, transpersonal psychotherapist, parent educator and adolescent mentor. For more information go to the website at
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Now displaying: October, 2016
Oct 25, 2016

Today’s guest is Jennifer McGurk a registered dietitian nutritionist and certified eating disorder registered dietitian. Her practice is located in Nyack, NY. Jennifer believes that every client has different nutrition needs and what’s right for one person may not be right for another. She believes in intuitive and mindful eating, and structures her sessions based on lifestyle changes, behavior modifications with food, and creative and realistic meal planning strategies. 

In this episode you will learn:

  • Jennifer works with adults and teens who have an unhealthy relationship with food or they want to change the relationship they have with food
  • Nutritional food is for fueling the body and decreasing the cravings
  • Gaining awareness of behavioral patterns or thoughts around food

For therapist and dietitians

  • Need to begin to change what we consider normal in the media and change the language
  • Discuss and recognize the negative “fat” talk-example “my cheeks are fat” or “I’m not beautiful”
  • Begin to neutralize it with healthier thoughts, such as “those are my cheeks”
  • Explore “What do I get out of that negative self-talk?”
  • Negative self-talk can decrease confidence and self-esteem
  • The number of sessions depends on what clients need or want from treatment and their level of commitment
  • Dietitian helps with:
  • Creating a food plan with the client Uses science and give specific recommendations of healthy diet
  • Review behavior changes and the “why’s” behind behavior and food decisions
  • Diet equals nourishment and life style change
  • Research shows that those who skip breakfast eat more later in day
  • Body slows downs, using brain energy at school and all this can create binging on foods after school/work
  • Pack an apple and peanut butter, a smoothy or half a sandwich to eat for breakfast

For parents

  • Talk about concerns or eating issues with your teenage daughter
  • You may think “it will make it worse”, but if you have open conversations it can help
  • Jennifer recommends F.E.A.S.T or
  • Schedule an appointment just for yourself to begin the process and explore ways in communicating concerns about your teen
  • Some prevention tips
    • Not talking about food as good or bad
    • Judging your own weight and making comments about it in front of your daughter
    • Don’t force your child to eat everything on their plate
  • Today’s world we are emotional eaters, we use food as comfort
  • Begin to use Hunger Scale
    • Rate your hunger from 1 to 10
    • One being extremely hungry
    • Five being neutral
    • Ten being you are Thanksgiving sick
  • Can use app called “Rise Up” which is geared toward eating disorders, but can rate your hunger

Book Recommendations

Healthy at Every Size by Linda Bacon ( Body Kindness book by Rebecca Scritchfield Rebecca’s podcast Intuitive Eating by Evelyn Tribole and Elyse Resch

If you liked this episode I invite you to subscribe on iTunes to receive the weekly updates. This podcast is also available on Stitcher, Google Play, YouTube and now iHeartRadio. Website is

Jennifer’s Information:


For therapist: for book

Oct 18, 2016

Today’s guest is Dr. Melvin Varghese a psychologist in Philadelphia, PA and host of the popular podcast Selling the Couch. He is a colleague and my mentor in this podcasting journey. We discuss what perfectionism looks like from a male perspective, how it impacted Melvin growing up and how he manages it as an adult. One goal of this episode is to continue to raise awareness how perfectionism not only affects women, but men too and ways to challenge old thoughts/stories we tell ourselves. Now here is todays episode.

In this episode you will learn:

  • How Melvin recognized perfectionism beginning as teenager and ways it manifested
  • How he manages those behaviors and thoughts now
  • Continuing to challenge societal beliefs about what it means to be a man

Embracing imperfection

  • Men sometimes wear perfectionism as a badge of honor
  • Society seems to have a double standard for men
  • “When I hold this truth and embrace these imperfections is when others can see our humanity.”
  • Give ourselves permission to feel both negative emotions and positive emotions
  • Step into our growth edge
  • Melvin shares how as a teenager perfectionism manifested in behaviors
  • His family moved to U.S. when he was in second grade
  • Wanted to do well academically for my parents and brother
  • He identified his self-worth with his grades
  • Began to manifest in some obsessive/compulsive behaviors, such as, how items on his desk were arranged
  • Our minds can go to one extreme or other i.e. “I won’t live up to my potential” More pressure on teens today
  • Can impact their views of self-worth Reminding them they are okay and failures are learning opportunities
  • As an adult When he first created his business old perfectionism thoughts returned and he recognized fear of not being liked
  • He combated perfectionism with:
    • Setting time limits for activities
    • Reminded himself-not about being perfect but about embracing imperfection
    • Using “both”/“and” vs “either”/“or”
    • Gaining self-awareness regarding old thoughts and beliefs
    • “I can put information out there and may not resonate with everyone and that is ok plus I can continue to tweak/modify as I go.”
    • Wants the world to see him as who he is

Self-Care skills:

  • Has consistent morning routine
  • Does 30 minutes of exercise
  • Listens to TED talk Has meditation routine
  • Plans day with 1 to 3 tasks
  • Breaks day into 30 minute chucks
  • Gets 8 hours of sleep each night


Sue Johnson-Hold Me Tight

Brene Brown-The Gift of Imperfection

Tal Ben-Shahar, Ph.D.-The Pursuit of Perfect: How to Stop Chasing Perfection and Start Living a Richer, Happier Life

If you liked this episode I invite you to subscribe on iTunes to receive the weekly updates. This podcast is also available on Stitcher, Google Play, YouTube and now iHeartRadio. Website is

Melvin’s Information:


Coming soon for entrepreneur:

Oct 11, 2016

Todays guest is Laura Reagan LCSW-C. She is a Certified Daring WayTM facilitator, in private practice located in Severna Park, Maryland and has a podcast called Therapy Chat. She specializes in working with adults who have experienced some childhood relational trauma, such as emotional or physical neglect, physical, sexual or emotional abuse, or have witnessed domestic violence. On todays episode Laura shares what parents and teen girls can do if they believe they have been sexually abused.

In this episode you will learn:

  • Laura defines sexual assault as: “any unwanted sexual touching (touching rear end, touching sexual body parts) to rape…child sexual abuse, sexual assault where no intercourse to rape.”
  • Sexual abuse and assault is considered a trauma
  • Statistics: 1 out of every 4 girls and 1 out of 6 boys under age 18 yrs have had some type of unwanted sexual experience
  • Often the person who has been sexually assaulted will not know they have been an answer the question as “no” when asked.
  • But when ask more specific questions about unwanted sexual experiences they will disclose experiences
  • Part of this is raising awareness of what sexual assault means
  • If you are intoxicated you can’t give consent
  • Maybe a sign you have been sexually assaulted if:
  • You wake up and I feel like I have had sex but not in relationship,
  • Wasn’t plan on having sex or
  • Wasn’t interested in anyone this Y
  • ou can go to college counseling office and speak to a professional
  • If not sure what you want to do call 24 hour R.A.I.N.N. hotline at 1-800-656-4673

What can parent do:

  • If you child, teen, or adult child discloses they have been sexually assault Focus on how they feel
  • And try not to be overwhelmed with your own feelings of what you hear
  • They are asking you for help and for your support
  • Suspend disbelief
  • Call the hotline number because you may not know what to do and they can help

What not to do:

  • Let them think you don’t believe them
  • That you don’t support them
  • Because that is harmful to your child/teen
  • It can be detrimental to recovery
  • Why do some people develop post-traumatic symptoms?
  • Studies show is depends on how well that person is supported when they tell someone
  • Next step is helping person regain a sense of power and control again by giving them choices
    • Let her decide whether she wants to call the police
    • Unless it is child abuse then you need to report immediately, but help victim feel like they have options
  • Do they need medical attention?
    • Does a forensic exam need to be completed? If child under 13 years old-need hospital pediatric forensic nurse examiner
  • Again call R.A.I.N.N. hotline and they can give you where to go
  • You can have an advocate through your local sexual assault crisis center to be there during every step of the process
  • Have to ask for an advocate
  • Advocates are specially trained, they know your rights and can help explain your choices
  • Advocate is an outside objective person
  • Can have them there at court if you do not want your parents or loved ones in the room
  • Parents can have advocate as well
  • Exams are free and advocates are free
  • Sexual assault affects everyone and offenders can be either gender


Allies in Healing-book for how to support an adult who was abused as a child

Local Sexual Assault Association For Indiana

State wide local coalition One Billion Rising Revolution

1 in 6 organization-male survivors of sexual assault RAINN

If you liked this episode I invite you to subscribe on iTunes to receive the weekly updates. This podcast is also available on Stitcher, Google Play, YouTube and now iHeartRadio. Website is

Laura’s Information:


Podcast: Therapy Chat (iTunes, Stitcher, YouTube and iHeartRadio)

Oct 4, 2016

Today’s episode is about communicating more effectively with your teenage daughter through reflective listening and assertive communication. You are role modeling problem solving skills to her using these skills. Now here is todays episode.

In this episode you will learn: Brain develops from back to front Teens don’t have full frontal lobe until they are 24 to 26 years old Frontal lobe impacts executive functioning and impulse control


Reflective listening or Active listening

  • Improve problem solving skills for your teen daughter
  • Parents ask yourself if this is your problem or hers.
    • Does this problem interfere with my rights or responsibilities?
    • Does it involve the safety of my teen or others?
    • If no then her problem
  • You will reflect the emotions back or guess what she maybe feeling if she hasn’t stated an emotion
  • Don’t force her to talk about what is going on if she doesn’t want to and let her know you are there for her
  • Reflect both the positive and the negative times with her

Communication Styles:

  • Passive communication-eyes down, withholding talking to other person for days or giving them a silent treatment.
    • Considered emotional abuse if you are not stating you need to take a conflict time-out or keep communication lines open
  • Aggressive communication-name calling, yelling, using physical intimidation is also considered emotional or verbal abuse
  • Assertive communication or using “I” statements is the healthy way to communication
    • Example: When _______________ (name the behavior), I feel ______________(state your emotion) because _________________. When we have plans to spend time together and you change your mind, I feel disappointed because I’ve been looking forward to being you.
  • Using “I” statements shows we are responsible for our own emotions and not blaming or criticizing.
  • Non-verbal communication needs to be open body language, eye contact and facing person
  • If the issue is hers and she wants feedback to possible solutions Use open questions that start with when, what, who, which, where or how
  • Gain understanding and clarify the problem Use brainstorming to find solutions
  • Evaluate the ideas from brainstorming
  • She needs to pick a solution
  • Get a commitment and set a time for evaluating the solution
  • If the issue is yours-you can use the above steps

Book Recommendations:

Nonviolent Communication-A Language of Life by Marshall B. Rosenberg, Ph.D. Parenting from the Inside Out by Dr. Daniel Siegel & Mary Hartzell, M. Ed.

If you liked this episode I invite you to subscribe on iTunes to receive the weekly updates. This podcast is also available on Stitcher, Google Play, YouTube and now iHeartRadio.

Website is

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